Think you're funny? Think you're not? The MQ needs YOU!
Membership is open to students of all campuses at UCSD. Do you like to write? Design? Photoshop images of celebrities and/or UCSD chancellors into hilarious and often morally comprising situations? Sit around and make jokes at the expense of others? Can you drag yourself to our offices? Are breathing and/or sentient? You're hired!
If you:
- Write comedy or want to learn
- Know how to use Photoshop or want to learn
- Know how to use InDesign or want to learn
- Know web design or want to learn
- Copy edit or want to learn
- Are a great lover or want to learn
- Still have the ability to laugh
- Like to meet new people and come have crazy fun parties with free food and FUCK PLEASE JUST COME TO OUR PARTIES
Get newspaper/leadership experience! We are willing to teach you for free. Don't be intimidated: crafting a fine newspaper is easier than it looks.
E-mail us at editor[at]themq[dot]com or come to our meetings every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Half Dome in Muir. If you don't know where it is it is here. See you there!
NEWS
IN BRIEF
Killer Bird Attacks Students in Price Center
A small, fluffy blackbird that began nesting in the trees near the Price Center fountain has recently been described by campus authorities as a homicidal maniac.
“He’s a worse neighbor than Samuel L. Jackson in ‘Lakeview Terrace,’” said one administrator, grimly. “We’d take him out, but that little shit is too small for our snipers to hit.”
“If you have recently walked down the stairs to the right of the Price Center fountain, you should consider yourself lucky to have lived to tell the tale,” authorities said. BILD 1 professors reported that the bird is protecting it’s nest and has evolved to “savagely attack anyone who so much as looks at it sideways.”
Campus police used the campus-wide text message alert system to issue the following warning regarding the bird: “RUN AWAY!!!!!!!”
Top Ten
Worst Times to Hear a Zipper Unzip Followed by “Bow Chicka Bow Bow”
- When you’re alone in the bathroom
- At your grandmother’s funeral
- Backstage at the Jonas Brothers concert
- Following “If anyone knows why this couple should not be wed...”
- As Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg hands you the bible
- During a platonic hug
- After you say “trick or treat!”
- During the Pee Wee Herman retrospective
- While getting your teeth cleaned
- After you ask for butter on your popcorn
SPECIAL FEATURES
