Think you're funny? Think you're not? The MQ needs YOU!
Membership is open to students of all campuses at UCSD. Do you like to write? Design? Photoshop images of celebrities and/or UCSD chancellors into hilarious and often morally comprising situations? Sit around and make jokes at the expense of others? Can you drag yourself to our offices? Are breathing and/or sentient? You're hired!
If you:
- Write comedy or want to learn
- Know how to use Photoshop or want to learn
- Know how to use InDesign or want to learn
- Know web design or want to learn
- Copy edit or want to learn
- Are a great lover or want to learn
- Still have the ability to laugh
- Like to meet new people and come have crazy fun parties with free food and FUCK PLEASE JUST COME TO OUR PARTIES
Get newspaper/leadership experience! We are willing to teach you for free. Don't be intimidated: crafting a fine newspaper is easier than it looks.
E-mail us at editor[at]themq[dot]com or come to our meetings every Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Half Dome in Muir. If you don't know where it is it is here. See you there!
NEWS
IN BRIEF
Hillel to Celebrate the Eight Days of Sun God
A recent discovery in the Torah reveals that Sun God has been celebrated in the Jewish tradition for thousands of years. Reportedly, there was an ancient keg that the Jewish people tapped for eight days. Hillel has since bought the rights to the Festival.
Rabbi Rosenberg stated, “Now that Sun God is officially a Jewish holiday, there will be eight days of celebration instead of the traditional one.”
The Jewish buyout of Sun God comes with many other changes, including the commandment that students must consume large amounts of alcohol during all eight days. Everyone is reminded to follow the commandments of Sun God “lest they wish to be circumcised. Again.”
Top Fifteen
Perks of Flying Medieval Airlines
- Airplane taxied by team of horses
- The pilots have no idea how this metal bird stays in the air
- 100 percent less raptors than Jurassic Air
- The plates are really giant pieces of bread!
- Food cart jousting
- Chamber pots conventiently located under every seat
- In-flight midget jester
- Ye Olde Skye Mall
- Pilots safely secured in sheaths of armor
- Pittance of peanuts replaced by joint of mutton, Cornish game hen
- All the convenience of the Middle Ages, today!
- 100 year price war with Air France
- Parapets
- In case of water landing, serfs can be used as flotation devices
- Whosoever pulleth the plane out of the nosedive is rightwise born king of England.
