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Volume XI Issue IV Classic MQ: Reliably 1-ply
celeb
“That's what's great about the outdoors. It's one giant toilet.” — Celine Dion
UC SAN DIEGO
Dead Pharaoh Was a Real Man
Find Out How The World Ends, see p.11
Delorian Brings Down Berlin Wall, Ending Communism

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NEWS
IN BRIEF

Nostradamus Predicts ‘Ohio Too Close to Call’

Famed prophet Nostradamus mysteriously predicted “Ohio too close to call” last Tuesday, though even he is uncertain as to what this prediction will mean for the future of France. King Charles is reportedly “displeased” with Nostradamus’ prediction, as he had “hoped for something that made some damn sense.”

Top Ten

Alternatives To Leeches

  1. Robin Leach
  2. 20 milligram saline drip couples with plasma
  3. Tiny, slimy vampires
  4. Soy leeches
  5. Hemophilia
  6. The music of Ashleech Simpson
  7. My ex-wife
  8. Sneeches on beaches
  9. Purple PT Cruiser with flames and wood
  10. A knife and a bucket

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