With ‘StarCraft II’ Looming, South Korea Must Construct Additional Pylons

Image provided by Terran Space Command Battle Cruiser Epsideltalon. - photo by Doran Joy

Omid Farivar

“StarCraft,” created by Blizzard Entertainment, was released for Microsoft Windows on March 31st, 1998. With more than 11 million copies sold worldwide as of February 2009, it is vastly regarded as one of the greatest games in PC history.

In South Korea, it has survived these 12 years as an e-Sport, with competitions held for dumptruck-loads of money, salaries paid to players, and millions watching on live TV. In fact, South Koreans have accounted for nearly nine million of the 11 million copies sold thus far. According to Blizzard’s data, each South Korean household has approximately 4.3 copies of the game, plays a total of 280 hours per week and has 9.4 poopsocks. The average actions per minute of a Korean player is 349, up from last year’s 340. Translated into laymen’s terms, this means that the average South Korean urban resident spends 18 hours of the day playing “StarCraft.” Further studies have shown the average household has a computer in each bedroom, every 1.7 bathrooms and every third kitchen.

Trouble has been brewing for several weeks though, as South Koreans have been completely M.I.A. from their daily lives. “StarCraft II” has been announced, and they have begun waiting in line to be some of the first people on Earth to play the game. Shops have closed, stocks have been neither sold nor bought, and policy making — and enforcing — has come to a complete standstill. The lines, branching out from the only three GameStops in Seoul, have an estimated wait of two months — just in time for the July 27 release of the new game.

In order to keep people from dying of starvation or thirst, both the prime minister and the president have commanded dropships to carry supply from command centers across East Asia to the people in the queues. North Korea, despite its controversial history with the South, has canceled its production of nuclear silos and has allied with its neighbor to help its people in this great and historical time of need.

One Seoul resident gave his opinion of the hype as “transcendental” and “historical.” He continued: “I am fine with idling [in line], because that way gas and minerals can build up and I can build a bunch of awesome stuff when I get home.”

Several other fans refused to comment, instead holding up random signs over their faces, perhaps to avoid embarrassment of being seen in line.