Perspective: You know, deep down I think I really want to be a porn star

Duane Fredrichs

In the fast-paced hustle and bustle of today’s job market, I think a lot of people focus on the status and money associated with a prestigious job instead of choosing a career that truly interests them. I admit that even I have fallen victim to this temptation and allowed myself to be swayed by the thoughts and opinions of others, but recently I’ve done a lot of soul-searching and realized that deep down I really just want to be a porn star.

Call me crazy for turning my back on reason and societal norms, but I think I would really like the job. Yet, I can’t honestly think why I would want to be a porn star when there are so many other jobs out there that offer so many opportunities to gain fortune and respect. I guess it’s just a secret desire to do something interesting and different with my career instead of pursuing a tangible and satisfying reward that makes the idea so appealing to me. I don’t know what else could instill in me such a desire to give that up in order to have rowdy, room-quaking sex for a living.

Is something wrong with me? I have degrees from Stanford and Yale and more than enough education to land me a lucrative job in any of a number of high-paying careers. I could take any one of a handful of positions as an executive of a Fortune 500 company if I so chose. I could have a multi-million dollar salary, stock options, and the admiration of thousands. But for some strange reason, I would rather spend my time fucking hundreds of surgically enhanced sex goddesses for hours on end. The choice is so hard to make.

For me, weighing the benefits of both types of job is a torturous task that haunts my thoughts day and night. I am forced to choose between a plush, mahogany-furnished office on the fiftieth floor and a velvet bed soaked with the sweat of a sextet of young nymphomaniacs between a schedule filled to the brim with meetings with powerful business executives and a daily circuit of mansions filled with exotic women to make mad hyena love to. Why must the norms and standards of society be so set against me in my seemingly simple task of choosing a career?

I will follow my dream. Next time I’m confronted with the chance to invest my time in a promising and lucrative startup company I’m just going to turn it down, no matter what others may say, and march right out and proudly tell the world that I want to fuck women for a living!