A.S. Passes Resolution to Censure President Bush

“This really hurts me on the inside,” chokes Bush, after reading the A.S. resolution. “I’ve been trying really hard... God, these gloves are uncomfortable.” - photo by Mike Rossmassler

Evan Bloom

Last Wednesday, the UCSD Associated Student Body passed a resolution to censure President Bush for “lying about the cause for war” in Iraq. The censure, a nonbinding resolution with no force or effect, was passed resoundingly by the body, which has no jurisdiction over the matter.

A censure is a public condemnation of the actions of an elected official. However, there are no consequences, punishments, or directly expressed affects from such a resolution. Historically, Andrew Jackson was censured for vetoing the Bank of The United States. The Senate and the House of Representatives at that time passed a concurrent resolution, the entirety of which stated “We are very mad at you. Don’t ever do that again.”

The current A.S. resolution to censure Bush reads:

Whereas: no weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq,

Whereas: President Bush justified war with claims of a threat of mass destruction.

Whereas: the president misled the American people about the causes of war.

The A.S. Student Body resolves that President Bush is a liar, liar pants on fire.

An amendment was later passed to remove the “hanging on a telephone wire” clause since it is neither a full sentence, nor does it express a coherent thought.

A.S. President Christopher Sweeten praised the motion, stating “I am proud to be part of a body willing to pass such bold and consequential business. This will truly affect the further actions of the Bush Administration.”

The motion was reportedly inspired by Senator Russ Feingold (D-Wisconsin), who made a recent attempt to punish the administration with a censure. “We must ensure that the President is never able to lie to the public again. A censure will be a strong and forceful way to prevent this. Writing down on paper that he was wrong, yet offering no consequence has always been an effective way to ensure change,” he proclaimed shortly before announcing his bill.

The motion was proposed by Sixth College Sophomore Senator Amit Ashamoni. After it passed he discussed the consequences. “The voice of UCSD has spoken, and the President of the United States will have no choice but to listen. This action by the land’s most consequential governing body will lead to great change.”

It is likely that this action by the A.S. Student Body will go down among its most important decisions. This follows in the wake of resolutions inflicting the death penalty on Slobodan Milosevic for his role in ethnic cleansing in Serbia, punishing the sins of the citizens of New Orleans with a great flood, and encouraging global warming funding to help combat the use the fossil fuels for heating.

Press Secretary Scott McClellan responded to the resolution by stating “The President believes that he is rubber and you are glue, your censure bounces off him and sticks to you.” Political analysts agree that A.S. will be hard pressed to find away around such a cogent and impervious legal maneuver.