Current Issue Archives About Contact Forums Join! The MQ on Facebook
Volume XV Issue VIII June 3, 2009 Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.
celeb
“I'm a fella who will put most of my eggs in one basket and then take a dump in the basket, but I really don't know.” — President Barack Obama
UC SAN DIEGO
Deep-Sea Diving Accident Leads to High-Pressure Situation "Who would have thought that working under thousands of pounds of sea water would have been so dangerous?" asks this young explorer.
LOLcats to UC Regents: "I'se Not Wanting to Pay Moar Moneyz" "I's rather be spaded to Bob Barker than pay moar tuition moneh next year," says this feline.

About theMQ

Our meetings are every Tuesday evening at 6:00 pm. They're set in lovely John Muir College, in the Half Dome Lounge. Need to know where Half Dome is? We've got you covered.

The MQ, formerly known as the Muir Quarterly, is the official college newspaper of Muir College at the University of California, San Diego. We don't publish for Muir College alone, however. We're growing rapidly, currently publishing more than twice per quarter and distributing to the whole of the UCSD campus. Our goal is to entertain, amuse, and inform our fellow students, just not necessarily in that order. The MQ is run by students from all six of the UCSD colleges, not just Muir. Our target audience is the entire UCSD student body.

The MQ is funded by the Muir College Office of the Dean, the Muir College Parent's Fund, Muir College Council, Muir Residential Life, and our advertisers. We have also received a generous donation from the John Denver Memorial Fund.

We're always looking to expand our staff, welcoming writers, editors, artists, layout staff, graphic designers, photographers, web staff, and humans. Anyone who is interested in The MQ is welcome to join, with no prior experience necessary.

The only commitment we do ask for is that you attend our weekly meetings. It's at these meetings where we, in theory, make assignments and plan the issues. Of course, a fairly large portion of every meeting is nothing more than going off on amusing tangents whilst socializing. In the end, we're just trying to have some fun.

Copyright Information

The Muir Quarterly®, heretofore referred to as The MQ®, is a satirical newspaper intended to be read solely for entertainment purposes. All names used within any associated content are entirely fictional, with the exception of satirization. Some content may be unsuitable for children; reader supervision is actively encouraged in all applicable cases.

All materials found on this website © fully inclusive of graphics, text, and all other associated files © is Copyright © 2004 - Present by The MQ. The aforementioned materials © excepting materials provided explicitly for user download © may not be reprinted, retransmitted, or reproduced in whole or in part without the written consent of the Editorial Board of The MQ. If you wish to reprint, retransmit, or reproduce any of these materials, please contact The MQ for permission. The user retains the right, however, to transmit the URL of any of these web pages without our explicit permission, where a web page is defined as a full presentation seen within the client-side web browser. Individual elements © inclusive of graphics, text, and all other associated files © may not be linked to individually.

The MQ accepts no responsibility for all damages and/or complaints resultant from materials downloaded from this web site, nor does it guarantee the quality of any downloaded materials. All materials provided for download by The MQ are downloaded with the sole discretion of the end-user.

The MQ is a campus organization of the University of California, San Diego. The views expressed within the content of The MQ are not to be considered the views of any specific agent of the University of California San Diego, its administration, or the University of California Regents.

Any explicitly corporate images and artwork are taken from the public domain, and are thusly not held under The MQ copyrights.

Any questions or inquiries regarding these policies can be emailed to editor [at] themq [dot] com.

NEWS
IN BRIEF

Study Shows That Talking Animals Are the Most Delicious

In a study led by Walt Disney Imagineering, gourmets have discovered that the meat of talking animals ranks higher in delectability than that of their non-magical counterparts.

“At first we thought talking baby bunnies and chipmunks were only useful to the extent that we could capitalize on their unbearable cuteness,” explained Disney’s CFO, Thomas Staggs. “But let me tell you — one tragic car accident in the Fantasy Forest, and we discovered a whole new savory market to tap.”

“Not only are they delicious, but they’re succulent, too,” said the Principal Creative Advisor for WDI Alan Kay as he gnawed on the bones of one of Pixar’s newest canine stars, Dug. “Nothing makes a meal better than the tender, flavorful flesh of an overweight golden retriever.”

Added Kay, “Next time we shoot Bambi’s mother, we’ll be sure to get Thumper too.”

Top Ten

Worst Times to Hear a Zipper Unzip Followed by “Bow Chicka Bow Bow”

  1. When you’re alone in the bathroom
  2. At your grandmother’s funeral
  3. Backstage at the Jonas Brothers concert
  4. Following “If anyone knows why this couple should not be wed...”
  5. As Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg hands you the bible
  6. During a platonic hug
  7. After you say “trick or treat!”
  8. During the Pee Wee Herman retrospective
  9. While getting your teeth cleaned
  10. After you ask for butter on your popcorn

SPECIAL FEATURES